by Jay Hathaway
So, let’s say you’re a woman, and you’d like to be paid more for your job. You’re obviously not going to go in and ask for a raise unprepared, so you’ll have to get ready. What’s the first thing you should do? Review your work and compile a list of accomplishments that show how good you are at your job? Wrong. Add up all the times you’ve saved your boss’s ass? Sorry, wrong again.
Nope. You need to douche. Preferably with Summer’s Eve Feminine Wash.
At least, that’s what a new “advertorial” in Woman’s Day magazine says. It lists 8 ways to prepare on the day you ask for your raise, and making sure you smell like flowers and feel pretty is number one on the list, ahead of practical things like showing up early and being prepared.
Even the “useful” advice is all about how others perceive you. You wouldn’t want to “let the conversation stray or get personal.” That’s always a risk with you wacky women! You’re so emotional! Ha ha!
And of course, “Today, it’s all about your worth to the company.” You might wonder why it’s not about self-worth, and the answer would probably be, “Sorry, self-worth doesn’t sell Feminine Wash. Making you insecure about how you smell does.”
Look, you’re reading SuicideGirls, so I can safely assume you don’t read Woman’s Day. You should still be concerned about this douchey job advice, though. It’s pushing a highly-corporate, really condescending standard for how girls should look and smell.
Women should absolutely ask their bosses for raises, but this ad fails to consider the possibility that a woman might actually be the boss. Maybe you’re the one handing out raises. Maybe you started your own company (I hear girls can do that now, right, Missy?). Well, I guess Summer’s Eve doesn’t want your disposable income if you’re a woman in a position of power.
So fuck you, Summer’s Eve and Woman’s Day. How about we judge people’s job performance by their accomplishments, not by the “delicate blossom” scent of their vaginas?
[…] know that having a vagina gives you power. Not only can it get you penis (or vagina), it can now get you that raise. High five, vagina! But we’re women. Heavens forbid we show up to the same shindig in the same […]